I began a new career last week. A career in my field as a professional writer. It’s crazy to think that just two months ago I wrote about growing complacent at my job. The more I thought about it the only part that was fulfilling was my wonderful coworkers. As much as I enjoyed being around them, it wasn’t enough to stay in a position I was miserable in.
Instead of my traditional Craigslist search I asked for help from ABOUT WOMEN, a group of people I admire. My former professor, Becky Sarwate, reached out and met with me to help rewrite my resume and figure out what I really wanted.
She was planning a honeymoon, the lesson plan for a summer course, grieving the loss of her and her husband Bob’s beloved dog Jude, and preparing for the launch of her first book Cubsessions… but she still made time for me (and still does for students who reach out for advice or guidance).
A week later (no lie, I even double checked out of curiosity) she reached out about a potential job opportunity. A former mentor of hers needed a full time writer for her growing business. “This is you!” she wrote. I knew I could do it, but was equally convinced I would fail.
Each step of the way I fought to ignore intrusive thoughts about not being good enough (whatever that means). I kept asking myself what point there was in trying when I knew I’d never get it. It’s a good thing I didn’t listen to myself.
From start to offer letter a full month passed. Resume. Writing Samples. First interview. Writing assignment. Second interview. Waiting. A lot of waiting. More waiting. It was such a relief when the offer letter came in.
Those insistent fearful thoughts will always be around and I’m still learning to live with them. Instead of continuing down that train of thought that only reinforces its own delusions, sometimes I’m strong enough to say no. This is just a thought. A more accurate thought is that I am a bad ass.