You Can’t Pour From An Empty Cup

Recently I have failed to pencil in time to recharge my batteries and I am feeling it. I have been so excited to see everyone and do all the things that I have always wanted to do, but I forget that I need time to myself in order to keep that power house running.

This summer, I have been blessed to be invited to all sorts of events connecting with those I already know and love while also branching out and joining circles that bring me closer to achieving my personal goals. I am so grateful for all of it. This introvert has gone full on extrovert these past few months and while I am happy with all that I’ve done it is beginning to take it’s toll.

My planning has gotten sloppy. Earlier in the year, I was organized checking my schedule before making commitments and thinking before saying “yes.” Lately, I overbook myself and end up either missing something I wanted to attend, or postponing with a friend and potentially damaging that relationship.

What’s worse is that when I’m in this state where there’s barely a day between things to take a breath, I stop being fun and engaging. I start pulling back. I’m short with people. I’m a bad listener. I start looking at the clock more and counting down the time until I get home. I get physically ill. It isn’t fun for me and definitely not fun or fair to those around me.

I can do better. Of course I want to be there for everything, but I must learn to accept that it is something I am not physically or mentally capable of doing (who really is?). Instead of being eager in the moment to commit, I need to remember that it’s okay to say “let me think about it” or “I’ll get back to you.”

It’s important that I can take the time to look at the calendar and see what’s happening before/during/after what I’m about to commit to so I can make sure to schedule in some time to recharge. I think this will limit the amount of time the oozing stress ball I become when overbooked has on the main stage.

Thank you INFJoe and Psych Central Podcast for reminding me that I shouldn’t feel guilty for taking this time to myself. Whenever I decline to attend something and instead choose to stay home alone I feel shame. I am convinced that I am failing myself and those around me. I’m working on changing that feeling because if I did attend and was short and distant, would that really be better for anyone involved?

This post is me checking in and owning the fact that sometimes I spread myself too thin. It is also an attempt to free myself from the guilt and shame I feel, trying instead to recognize that everyone has different limits and reinforce that it is okay. If you struggle with social interaction I suggest you check out INFJoe’s “Introvert Kryptonite: How to Survive a Large Social Gathering” in addition to his blog.

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