This month I’ve been consistently at the gym, in a fitness class, on the mat at home, or out on the trail running. Each day I notice my endurance growing along with my confidence, and most days I compliment that great feeling by filling myself up with delicious things that are terrible for me. Sweets, chips, pizza, hot dogs, fries… what is wrong with me?
It would be fine if I indulged in these tasty foods on occasion, but typically I tend to binge and have a combination of several of them at the same time. Opening a bag of chips becomes eating the whole bag of chips followed by pizza and a six pack container of ice cream bars. It tastes soooo good I never want to stop. When I am finally done I feel weak, ashamed, and bloated.
In June I signed up for DietBet. The idea is that you bet $35 that you can lose 4% of your weight over 30 days and then the winners split the pot. The idea was that my motivation to win my money back might curb my binge eating. Instead I found out that my binge eating is more important to me than money is. I am going to lose the DietBet, but that is okay.
I have decided to see the sunny side of things instead of kicking myself for losing the money. While I did not lose the full 4%, I did lose over 2% which is still something! I connected and learned so much about my body. I found consistency and variety in my workout and I took a hard look at my eating habits. I am moving forward in a productive and healthy way instead of sulking in my own failure. Progress is happening and I am the only person who can slow me down. I’m determined not to let it happen this time.