Women aren't the only one with trust issues, and men aren't the only ones who cheat on their partners. Regardless of our gender, relationship pain resulting in trust issues can happen to the best of us. If you are currently dating a guy who has a history with an unfaithful partner , you are therefore dealing with someone who may have some serious trust issues. As a matchmaker and dating coach, I've even seen men spend over fifteen years alone just to avoid the pain of being cheated on. They hide in their caves and eventually come out when it gets too lonely. Women tend to get over cheating more easily than men because women chat to friends, see therapists and try again.
That would be a horse of a different color.
Please wake up!! He knows exactly what to say and how to say it to make women swoon and fall for him. I would pretty much guarantee you that if you could ask one of the past girlfriends he cheated on she would tell you he gave her the exact same line. And most people have very strong opinions about cheating.
Is that a chance you are willing to take? If you are then you will reap what you sow as they say. He will cheat again, on you and the next one and the next one and the next one.
If cheating is the same as lying, do you want a liar? Three weeks is way to soon to tell the depth and sincerity of ones character. Over time after words and actions can you know what a person is really about and this case if he has changed his unfaithful ways.
I could be wrong but I believe it was you just recently went through some break up. Maybe you need some time to heal and then get back into dating. Honestly, its just too soon to tell.
First of all, you are currently in the exact, i mean to a T the same situation i was in just over a year ago. I knew my now ex bf had cheated on his previous girlfriends, he fed me nearly word for word what you have said.
Phrase Your dating a guy that has been cheated on for the
He swooned me with flowers and presents and treated me like I have never been treated by any guy before, told me i was the one and that he had changed because of me and I was the love of his life, he said how disgusting his actions were to his previous girlfriends, how immoral he knew it was, how hurtfull he realised it was to them and i believed it.
I did have my guard up for a long time but after a year of being swooned i was in love with him, despite a lot of his narcissistic faults and red flags. As soon as the guard went down i had this gut feeling something was up.
Bear in mind he was very close with my family, had a lot to loose, i found out he was cheating on me and messaging other girls etc etc. I still 5 months later keep finding out about other girls he was with.
Why men can't handle being cheated on.
The messages i found on his phone had the exact same time stamps as a lot of messages he sent me telling me he cant wait to have children with me, he cant wait to marry me etc etc.
All same day within a min of the sexting messages to these other girls. I kicked him to the curb and he promised he would never do it again, he made a stupid immoral, hurtfull mistake he said and tried every trick in the book to get back in with me but no. So i was number 3 that he cheated on and that is just a chapter of the whole book of my ex.
Not dating a guy that has been cheated on are not
So i think to save you the heartbreak that I have gone through and the complete and utter sadness that I have had to endure I would say go find someone else.
Trust your gut. Mine did me proud and to the day i die I will always go with my gut. If i had gone with it in the first place when I was in your position last year I would have avoided all of this. I would never normally post on things like this but it just resonated so much with my own experience that if I can have someone avoid the same thing happening to them and i am telling you it will happen. I am also wondering maybe it is the same guy you are seeing because it all sounds so familiar!
Anyway good luck with whatever decision you make.
At the end of the day its your decision and your life. Just listen to your gut. Oh also on a side note I also found out from his previous ex to me that he said pretty much all of the same things. On my first date with my ex he told me that he cheated multiple times on a last girlfriend. Months into the relationship he would say he would never cheat on me.
A week later I find out he started several dating profiles online, and suddenly he began disappearing on me on the weekends.
After we ended things, he confessed that he was in communication with his ex. My point is, guys tell you the truth in who they really are. Listen to him. He is admitting that he is a cheater.
I guarantee you he is NOT worth the heartache. There are millions of men in the world. Why even take the risk? There is NO WAY he feels more for you after 3 weeks than he felt for the women he was with for a longer time and cheated on.
No way. No one builds a true bond that quickly. No doubt about it. The only guy who ever played me was incredibly open about who he was. He over shared right at the start but it turns out only told me half truths. He was wonderful, attentive and kind.
Made me feel amazing etc.
I was totally hooked! After about 3 months I started to see who he really was. Looking back, all the red flags were there. I wanted him to have fallen head over heals in no time at all. He was just telling me exactly what I wanted to hear. That is a close minded statement, distrustful and a judgement on many people you know nothing about. Three weeks in? If you are here asking a bunch of strangers whether you should continue with this guy based on a comment he made; I would be asking myself am I ready for something more?
Same thing. Not only that, he cheated on ALL of his past relationships. He showed me exactly who and what he was and what did I do? Waste a year playing cat and mouse with the most expert liar and cheater, we are talking CIA realm of hiding his tracks. But in my gut I knew. I only had circumstantial evidenceuntil I geo-tagged his car.
I had to know.
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Or will you always wonder whether your new partner is being true? That kind of insecurity can eat away at the foundation of a relationship, creating obstacles to genuine intimacy between you. If you are worried every time the other person is a few minutes late, or if you find yourself wanting to check his or her cell phone numbers or read his or her emails, then this might not be the best relationship for you at this point.
Imagine you had committed the same mistake. You are now ready to move on, and then your partner tells you he sees real loyalty in you and he likes how much you make him feel special. Give them a chance to be loved. Anonymous June 19th, am.
Everybody makes mistakes. Love is confusing and life is hard. If you are in love, go for it Anonymous June 22nd, pm. Give them a chance everyone makes mistakes that they aren't proud so give them the benefit of the doubt. Learn about that person. Trust is important, build it. And specially, talk to this person about your concern. Learn to read your partner.
You could also talk to his relatives and your concern. Continue to date them, if it's working for you.
The infidelity was a small indiscretion; it had nothing to do with why we eventually parted, and, to the best of my knowledge, it never happened again. If you can't imagine yourself ever feeling sanguine about your partner having done this in the past, though, you need to give them the chance to find someone who can.
Dating a guy that has been cheated on
Act cautiously, don't put to much of your heart into it. Your own happiness matters more than satisfying someone who may possibly turn and use your trust against you.
Give them the benefit of the doubt. Hopefully they regret their choices and have turned over a new leaf. I don't believe in once a cheater always a cheater. Unless, of course, they have a long track record of cheating that you know about. I think start with trust or don't start at all.
Always trust your instinct. If you feel one way then act in another, you're going against your instinct. Your heart will always want something more but never give up your dignity for a person who has already degraded you once. Anonymous July 6th, am. Coming from somebody who has been cheated on 10 times, there shouldn't be any 2nd chances if they do cheat.
I would keep an eye out, because it's more than likely that you'd find out about it somehow. You deserve to be happy, and if they cheat on you, you won't be happy. Like many of the questions that are asked here, there is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question. What IS important though is that you've talked to your partner about their past actions. Are they remorseful? Have they talked through what behaviors, attitudes, and emotions led to their cheating? And further, have they taken steps to ensure they will not be repeated?
For many people cheating is a dealbreaker, and staying together is more about avoiding loneliness than it is about staying with a real partner.
That dating a guy that has been cheated on have thought and
Be sure you aren't doing this - it is not fair to either of you. In other situations the cheating truly was an awful mistake that the cheater learns from. It's important that all of these issues are talked through - uncomfortable as that may be.
Met a guy online who I alreay recognised from our area. Always fancied him. He started chatting to me early Jan. He's single dad and been separated 5 months (wife cheated). Has kids 50%. We have so much in common. Literally my perfect man. He wooed me a lot but as we got close he has pushed me away and become very flaky. Coming from somebody who has been cheated on 10 times, there shouldn't be any 2nd chances if they do cheat. I would keep an eye out, because it's more than likely that you'd find out about it somehow. You deserve to be happy, and if they cheat on you, you won't be happy. Generally speaking, dating a guy who's cheated in a past relationship - maybe even more than once - probably isn't the brightest idea. Sure, he may say that he's changed, but in all likelihood, that's total BS. Still, you might decide that this guy is worth the risk, take a leap of faith and hope for the best.
Sweeping an issue like this under the rug is the only truly wrong solution. Know your own self-worth. Everyone deserves better, but you are the only person who needs to realize that for yourself. Put yourself in a better, healthier position that will benefit you both physically and mentally.
Speaking, opinion, dating a guy that has been cheated on something is. Now
Anonymous June 11th, am. I think you should give people a chance. It's important to understand that your relationship is different than the one the person had before. You might try to make expectations clear, what's ok for you and what's not.
Trust yourself and you'll be fine. Talk about it with the other person, why it happened or any other kind of explanation.
Jun 03, Loving someone who has been cheated on means understanding that they might want to move more slowly, that it may take more time to not only let you in, but more time for them to become attached to you. But know that when they do it can only mean you're a rare soul, someone they've deemed worthy of their time and trust. If they have been cheated on in the past, its highly likely that they have been told that they are the one, there is no one else and they love that person before etc. But then cheated on this person regardless. Saying that again although true to you, will probably not be believed by the other person because it has happened thatliz.comtion: Licensed Professional Counselor. Sep 15, This guy treats me better than anyone I've ever dated. He has more respect, is more considerate, and we have a deeper personal connection than I have ever had with ANYONE. However, he has cheated on many of his past girlfriends.
Don't necessarily think they'll cheat again but if you're worried you should talk about that. Past is meant to be change i guess. If you believe in him.
Do not let their past affect your presence. Anonymous June 30th, pm. Well, tell him that you don't trust him as much anymore and let him know that it will take a lot to rebuild your confidence in him. Then tell him that you still love him and you'll accept him any way he is but his choices have consequences. Anonymous June 9th, pm.