One of the ways in which the Enneagram differs from the Myers-Briggs is its assertion that every personality type has a signature core essence or approach to life. For the Five, this entails survival by way of knowledge and self-sufficiency. Of all the Enneagram types, Fives are the most concerned with seeing the world as it actually is , regardless of how ugly or unsettling. Nothing is taboo or off limits for Fives; any form of censorship is anathema to them. Seeing objective truth as the path to salvation, anyone or anything attempting to obfuscate the truth may be treated as an object of derision by the Five.
The Observer tends to retract and withdraw as a protection against the perceived intrusion. This, in turn, can invite further judgment and resentment or anger from the Perfectionist about what is wrong with the relationship and further angry retraction on the part of the Observer. Both can turn silent and withholding, endangering the relationship. Perfectionists and Loyal Skeptics often work synergistically in the pursuit of making a better world and correcting injustice.
Feb 23, You may have heard about Enneagram personality types, but if not, I'm happy to be the first one to tell you they are more fun than a Ouija board at a . Featured below is a clickable table linking to 45 possible combinations of Enneagram types in relationship with each other. These combinations allow us to see deeply within our own character structure and assist us in developing healthy relationships with our partner, family members, friends, clients and co-workers. Enneagram type five wing sixes tend to be practical, independent, and logical in their behavior. They are much more cooperative than other five types and have a .
They are sensitive to each other and dedicated. A cycle of escalating conflict and blame can result when the Perfectionist becomes more critical and angry, feeling that nothing can make the Loyal Skeptic secure and certain. All of this can lead to pain and even disruption or an end to the relationship. Perfectionists and Epicures are opposite types in many ways.
Considering the wings, you should be a 5w6. There were about questions I wasn't sure about, so I went back and changed the answers and I still got the exact same result. Here are the two distributions: First time: Type 1: 9. Type 2: 5. Type 3: Type 4: 8. Type 5: Type 6: Type 7: 7. Type 8: 3. Type 9: 9. Second time: Type 1: 9. Note: because the color indicates frequency relative to chance, some red or pink cells may be numerically smaller than cells not highlighted. Major findings: 1. Marriage patterns are not random. For example, of all female 8s, 37of them married male 9s, even though only 19of all men were 9s. 5w4 in an almost 2 year relationship with a 5w6. You have to be willing to do the work to get out of your own head. Work on empathy skills - they are very attractive to potential partners, and 5s tend to neglect them. Learn how to actually listen to people, not just waiting for them to finish so you can speak.
While these contrasting qualities can complement each other, they can also lead to a cycle of escalating conflict. This can devolve into explosive outbursts by the Epicure and righteous fixed-position anger on the part of the Perfectionist. Ultimately, this polarity can become intolerable to both types and end the relationship.
The Enneagram Type Combinations. No pairing of types is particularly blessed and no pairing is particularly doomed. These type combinations are an overview to help people understand some of the main positive and negative issues that are likely to arise between any two types. May 16, Type Compatibility: The Theory After people learn their own Enneagram type, the next question I invariably get asked is "what types go well together?" or "who should I be with?" Everyone wants to know. The answer is that all type combinations can be happy together if both partners have high levels of self awareness. And the reverse is true. All combinations may struggle if both people. To the 5w6, being dragged into someone else's emotional world feels like a waste of time and energy. They think that people who can't get a grip on themselves are weak and illogical. Because even 5w6s don't live in a vacuum and are often forced to deal with other people, they develop strategies to keep others at arm's length.
Perfectionists and Protectors often join together in pursuing causes related to fairness, justice and shared interests. However, conflict arises over their considerable opposite tendencies. When this interaction becomes polarized, it can lead to entrenchment, angry outbursts, withdrawal, and eventual destruction of the relationship.
Perfectionists and Mediators often join together in attending to detail and leading an orderly, steady life. Mediators, however, can feel criticized and prodded instead of encouraged by Perfectionists.
As a result, Mediators may end up feeling inferior. In attempting to please, they over-accommodate and build up stubborn resistance that annoys and frustrates Perfectionists. A cycle of escalating conflict can follow, leading to further prodding of the Mediator, which creates a power struggle: the two types can become stuck, internally seething, punctuated with angry outbursts.
This pattern is compounded since both types have difficulty knowing their real needs and desires. Over time the relationship can deteriorate to extinction.
Givers join together in valuing a focus on relationships and in appreciating the nurturing quality and sensitivity to feelings in each other. Having little awareness of their own needs, however, they may become overly solicitous with each other, compete for approval, and feel unappreciated, unfulfilled, and ironically unconnected. Failure to get into the natural flow of giving and receiving, can lead to emotional upset and to who is dependent on whom.
Ultimately hurt feelings may then ensue leading to angry, emotional outbursts and ultimately to withdrawal or rejection. There just may not be enough flow of giving and receiving to sustain the relationship.
Conflict occurs when Givers experience Performers as discounting feelings and relationship issues, while Performers experience Givers as getting off task and wanting too much time and attention.
A cycle of increasing conflict can result with the two types polarizing - the Giver feeling rejected, getting emotional, and emoting anger and with the Performer feeling unrecognized and impatient and then disappearing into work.
This pattern can result in withdrawal and eventually in alienation end to the relationship.
Givers try to satisfy the apparently needy Romantics, attempting to fulfill their needs. They can get caught up in the emotions and intensity of Romantics and lose their own sense of separateness.
This cycle could lead to an unraveling of the relationship. This relationship is truly an attraction of opposites. However, in wanting more connection and acknowledgement, Givers try to bring Observers forward into feelings and more sustained contact. Then Givers active energy can feel intrusive, overly emotional, and demanding to Observers, who then contracts and disengages. Angry outbursts, alienation, and even disruption of the relationship can ensue.
Givers want to help doubting, questioning Loyal Skeptics who seem to need support and reassurance. Thus, while appreciating Givers support and care, Loyal Skeptics may back off from or confront what they experience as too much attention. A cycle of escalating conflict can result polarizing the situation with the Loyal Skeptic getting accusatory and the Giver getting emotional.
Withdrawal can ensue as one or the other or both types attempt to reduce distress. Eventually, this pattern can cause a lasting disruption of the relationship. Both types enjoy the strengths they share in common - especially flexibility, friendliness and the love of freedom and the good life.
However, Givers can find Epicures overly self-referencing and self-serving, hence not paying enough attention to the relationship or sufficiently reciprocating in give and take. Givers can then feel neglected and unappreciated and become emotional, demanding, and guilt provoking. Epicures, on the other hand, can find Givers overly focused on others, intrusive, and too needy of attention.
A cycle of ever-increasing conflict can occur as the Epicure, feeling smothered and limited, can respond with escapism and rationalization and the Giver with angry outbursts and emotionality, possibly resulting in alienation and deterioration and even destruction of the relationship. In turn, the Protector often resists the influence and may react to feeling contained or manipulated with more confrontation and anger. Feeling rejected and devalued, the Giver may withdraw or burst out in anger and emotion.
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This all can result in a deep rift in the relationship and repeated cycles of uncontained reactivity leading to destruction of the relationship. Givers and Mediators get along well together because they both are sensitive, pleasing, helpful, and accommodating. But conflict arises when Givers become overly helpful and intrusive in an effort to get Mediators to set priorities, take initiatives, and say what they need even though Givers have great difficulty themselves with experiencing what they need.
When this pattern persists, the relationship can deteriorate and even dissolve. They can live parallel yet supportive lives with each taking on the tasks necessary to function and attain goals. They may even become competitive, experience one another as obstacles in the path of attainment and success, and feel insufficiently recognized.
A cycle of ever-increasing conflict can result when this occurs.
Then each can get frustrated, impatient, angry, and distance himself or herself from each other, leading to alienation and distant co-existence or dissolution of the relationship.
Performers wanting approval try harder, yet often still disappoint the Romantic who pursues the ideal relationship. This pattern can result in a sustained gulf between them and even lead to dissolution of the relationship.
Performers and Observers support each other in work projects and shared activities.
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As neither type habitually attends to feelings, they are unlikely to resolve the situation through dialogue and expression of personal feelings. They may become alienated and lonely leading eventually to termination the relationship. When sharing a common purpose or goal, Performers and Loyal Skeptics can complement each other well with an action orientation balanced by thoughtful downside analysis. When Performers push ahead, somewhat blind to potential hazards and what can go wrong, Loyal Skeptics can react with caution and contrary thinking about pitfalls and worst case scenarios.
A cycle of escalating conflict can take place with the Performer seeing this as putting up obstacles to progress and success, which evokes impatience and a push forward into action. The Loyal Skeptic then can feel unheard and discounted, which increases his or her doubt and mistrust. This can spiral into a web of angry allegations and eventually estrangement. Since both types avoid painful feelings and negatives, difficulties can reach crisis proportions before they are faced.
This cycle of blame creates pain and anger in both.
If the difficulties are not faced, alienation can take place and the relationship can dissolve. Performers and Protectors can join together in pursuit of shared goals with vigor and determination.
INTJ Enneagram 5 on a Date
Although people avoided marrying their own types, they did not show any avoidance of adjacent wing types. A preference for wing types was not seen either. It should be noticed that this list is ranked purely by numerical counts, not by its frequency relative to chance. Hence, it is skewed toward the more common types 9s and 6s. How does the personality of marriage partners affect their happiness, personal growth, and longevity?
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These answers could be very relevant to marriage counselors. The data on this page are reported by the couples themselves, or their children, and are not verified by an objective test. Unfortunately, even the best available Enneagram tests may have only limited accuracy see my comparison of Enneagram tests.
Development of better tests is critical for progress in Enneagram research. This is clearly not the case, as we see in the table below. These gender differences are very consistent with what has been reported previously by Dora and Ted Levinson Enneagram Monthly, Sept. More from our sister site Yana Relationships.
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Combining Kundalini Yoga and the Enneagram. The answer is that all type combinations can be happy together if both partners have high levels of self awareness. And the reverse is true. All combinations may struggle if both people have a lack of self awareness. Type compatibility is more about similar levels self awareness than it is about personality type.
The basic guidelines are: Two highly self aware people have the best chance of success. Two highly unaware people may be able to continue in a relationship but it is usually characterized with relationship problems.
Their chance of real success is low.