So I really like this guy. I have known him since I was in 6th grade, I am now a Junior in high school. We started "Talking" last year around September. And have really liked each other ever since. I don't think I could describe to all of you how much chemistry we have It's amazing. And you know how they say "you just know when he is the one for you"?
But I am 17 now and It is the legal age of consent in CO. So I was wondering Do you think that it is okay for a 17 year old and a 21 year old to date? Considering our circumstances? He has never tried to make me do anything I don't want to do either. We have kissed and that was mutual but he is not using me for sex and he never has asked me to send naked photo's or anything so I know that he is not using me for sex.
He is a truly good guy. I dated a 19 year old when I was 16, we were together for 4 years! It is not an age thing, If you two have that much chemistry you shouldn't be thinking of what other people think or how other people feel, family members usually come around!
The guy I was with is still a really good friend of mine! If it is just family and church stopping you then you need to consider what the most important thing is to you personally. Try by looking at the people around you, I am sure there is someone in your church and even in your family that is with someone older than themselves. Good luck!
I wouldn't do it. I think that if you were both older, it would be just fine. But dating someone school aged is a different story because they are still rapidly growing and maturing and changing and growing up, and each specific year can mean big changes for that persons life. A year to a school aged person means a lot more than it does to a working adult. At 21, I remember I almost dated a 17 year old, but.
Think, 21 17 year old dating topic simply
It was just too weird, and I couldn't feel good about myself. I sort of felt ashamed at the thought of dating him, like why couldnt I find someone my own age?
It just sort of felt. I realize most people say "Age is just a number" and will support your decision, but I just gotta be honest and give my unpopular opinion. I did this when I was Do not rush in to sex.
I'm 21 and kind of dating a 15 year old… i love her
Go out on dates. I am 18 now and I am dating a 22 year old. My boyfriend and I are great together, but when I was 17 and dated a different guy who was 21 a lot of bad things happened. My ex really damaged me, and my current boyfriend has to deal with all the things I have been through.
Be careful, because you have to live with your choices, and whatever comes out of this relationship. Do not get caught up in drinking with him, because he is 21 he may want to drink, but you should wait until you are of age. At 17 you should be mature enough to deal with a 21 year old guy.
Dec 25, I was dating a 17 year old at 21, everyone throught it was great, no-one outside of the few of us even realised there was an age difference. But I'm the kind that parents are glad relieved to have their daughter dating, so YMMV:) posted by -harlequin-at AM on December 26, Nov 09, An year-old explains why he continues to date his year-old girlfriend even though he is violating the law. Dr. Phil To Year-Old Dating Year-Old: 'You Do Realize That It Is A. But the issue with the age rule is that it doesn't take into account the maturity difference between an 18 year old and a 21 year old. A 25 year old shouldn't be dating a 19 year old. The rule's just an arbitrary justification for dating someone you know is too young for you.
Just ask yourself "does he really love me? I think it is perfectly fine and acceptable and if he is a nice guy your parents or your church shouldn't have a problem and support you in your decision. I hope this helps. Good Luck! Am sure its accept and if u feel that he is the one and he feels the same way you do then there's no going back. I believe in chemistry if its their and he loves u as u love him then age is just a number.
Trending News. Many people will think less of you and her if you persue this. They probably already do. Her dad being a cop just makes the situation all the more absurd. Stay friends until she's If her parents are ok with it, and your parents and friends already are, then that's everyone that matters. You'll get crap from other people if the age discrepancy is apparent, but from the sound of it, it isn't. Take her up on some of those invitations to dinner, so you meet the parents.
Make a good impression. I was dating a 17 year old at 21, everyone throught it was great, no-one outside of the few of us even realised there was an age difference.
Just back away as nicely as you can. Forget the taboo factor, her daddy's a cop. You could be as gentlemanly as is humanly possible, and he could still ruin your life.
Any daddy can claim a false statutory rape, but a cop is going to have a better chance of making it stick. That would give you a criminal record featuring sex with a minor. Furthermore, there's a slim chance you'd wind up on the Sex Offender Registry. Be kind to her, of course - she may be a "very mature" 16, but she's still None of the logic behind this may matter to her. If this is love, true and deep, waiting a few years is nothing.
Consider it a test of the heart. That way, once she's 18, you'll be much more free to do as you please. Also, not advice, just random thoughts - after her parents have met you, what about telling her you'd like to ask her out, but feel a bit odd about the age difference, ask her what she thinks. See what she says. Once she knows your interested, assuming she wants it to happen, then she might be your best ally in presenting it to her parents.
Perhaps "dad, I'd like to date this friend of mine" might work better than "Mr XYZ, I'd like to date your underage daughter". I don't know, just throwing something out. I see no problem with it, particularly if she's mature for her age But I think it depends though on the state though in terms of a sexual relationship do your homework if you become romantically involved posted by DudeAsInCool at AM on December 26, Also, waiting until she's in collage might be a good idea - it's not long, and a lot of highschool taboo doesn't apply anymore.
Reading Jilder's comment - yeah - make sure you're comfortable with the parents as well as they you. Think "what could happen if I break her heart". Socially, you're much better off waiting until she's started college. Right now you'd be a twenty one year old guy dating a girl in high school - doesn't matter how you dress that up, it still comes out looking really really bad.
It's a shame that arbitrary laws criminalize what could be otherwise fulfilling relations between two people. C'est la vie in your particular jurisdiction. As others have said, you could pursue a friendship and bide your time before getting romantically involved, but be prepared for some tests of character. Well age of consent is a very arbitrary concept. Why are teens in Arizona assumed to be less mature than teens in Ohio?
It doesn't make any sense. Besides, social conventions and practices are not necessarily tied to the legal age of consent. Relationships with such age differences happen all the time, it depends on the individuals. But, you're thinking of asking permission of the parents, and you're thinking of avoiding sex - that's two complications you don't need at If she already has such a crush on you, how are you going to deal with dating without getting sexual?
What if she wants to? You're going to be leading her on that way.
You can't date her and then suddenly turn all "oh no no you're only 16" when sex comes up, and oh it will come up, don't delude yourself. If you're going to treat her like a child then do it from the start and just don't start anything. A relationship has to be on equal terms at any age. Legally, it's shaky enough that I'd stay away from the situation. Socially-when I was in high school, there were year-olds dating men ten years their senior legally over the age of consent in that state.
I've seen the same thing now and then since, especially when I've been in work environments with a lot of younger folk. In general, other teenagers think it's cool that you're so openminded, that she could impress an older guy, and are cool with the idea in general. Most adults think it's creepy, and no amount of justification or rationalization can change their minds, even if upon meeting the sixteen-year-old the adult in question would guess her to be much older.
Whether it's "acceptable" depends on your community, but for dating a teenager not to hurt you at all socially, you'd have to hang out in either a very open-minded social group, or a very young one. Dude, her dad is a cop. Seriously, I would not touch this with the proverbial ten-foot pole. Really, they are! Right over there, other side of the tall grass, in front of the mall!
Quite apart from the age thing, I'd be wary of a relationship with someone who worked for a family member too. Maybe you don't plan on having sex. There's a chance you actually won't do that. You know who cares? Not her dad. Not the judge. Not your neighbors in twenty years when they find out they live next to a sex offender.
You can't prove you didn't have sex. Maybe she can't prove you did, but recent high-profile cases indicate she probably won't have to. IMHO, that and the sex offender registry for "crimes" like this is a complete bullshit way of operating a justice system - but, such is the system as it stands.
Know that going in. If you lived in another state, where the age was 16, my advice might be different. But in today's legal climate, the advice to stay far away could not be made strongly enough. I'll be honest I came here wanting people to tell me it was okay, I wasn't totally crazy to ask this chick out, because even though I had made up my mind, it was still bugging the hell out of me which should have been all I needed to know it was wrong.
And I got that, some of you are saying do it, but even with the support it still just doesn't seem right for some reason. I like to think of myself as having a more logical thought process then an average person so this whole thing has been driving me bonkers trying to figure out.
Can not 21 17 year old dating apologise, but
You all make very good, and valid points, but I think pleeker and twistofrhyme bring it home, I know I could keep from bringing sex up, but if she wanted it I don't know if I could stop it, and therein is the biggest rub I guess. My biggest concern is and should be her, I don't want to hurt her or make her fear relationships at such an important time in her life for relationships. As such I think I should just steer clear. I think you've made the right choice.
It's a teenage girl thing. They don't want to be kids anymore, they want to be seen as mature by their friends and family. She probably looks like an adult, and acts like an adult, but upstairs, she's still a kid. And her dad's a cop. Like someone said, there's a reason they're called Jailbait. Echoing what others have said, it doesn't matter how "mature" she is, a 16 year old is in a totally different place, mentally and physically than a 21 year old.
21 17 year old dating
To be frank, you might want to consider where you are psychologically that are you are even interested in this girl. Arizona sex offenders are routinely placed on lifetime probation, and have a lot of restrictions and invasions in their lives as long as they remain on it. Just fyi. Jim at AM on December 26, You should be wary of any year-old girl lavishing you with attention.
It's not just possible, but probable, that it's not really you she likes, but the simple fact that a year-old man is paying even the smallest bit of attention to her. Teenagers get very bored very easily. These relationships rarely work in the long run. There are exceptions, of course, but in my opinion, even if you're totally in love with her, this is a very, very bad idea.
I feel like I had plenty of self-confidence and positive sexual awareness at that age, but I remember being attracted to other people in their mid-teens rather than older people.
I can't begin to read her mind any more than the rest of the people in this thread canbut just from what you're saying, it sounds like she's not even necessarily expressing sexual interest in you. Beyond your own attraction to her, you're also being forced to think of this in sexual or potentially-sexual terms by a few other factors the laws, the fact that her dad's a cop.
I think the best thing you could do is stay her friend and give her your support and advice as she navigates the landscape of relationships and sex in college. I think it's really sad that some people in this thread are saying you can't be her platonic friend and should drop all interaction with her. But I do think you need to consider your relationship carefully and communicate with her VERY clearly from now on. I'm in agreement with Brittanie, but for slightly different reasons. I think men have an easy time picking up younger women.
Younger women, in my experience, want to learn everything that a more mature man can teach them. In the teens, a single year makes a big difference in terms of maturity. You've gone through the experiences of living on your own, finding work, and supporting yourself financially and emotionally.
A year-old still has Mommy and Daddy's support to fall back on if anything should go wrong. You're well beyond that point- do you want to have to sneak your girlfriend out of her parent's house to stay out late?
Want to take her to get drunk with your friends? You're at different stages of life; its not to say that you can't love her or share an emotional bond, but I think it will be a fragile bond due to the difference in maturity and the barriers created by the law and social norms.
Have quickly 21 17 year old dating think
She's probably enamored with you because you have so much more experience than her, which I entirely understand. But at some point, you'll want someone who understands your experiences and can teach you a thing or two. Its easy for older guys to pick up younger women- but I'm not sure if they satisfy our needs. I mean it - do not EVER let yourself be in any situation where the two of you are alone - without witnesses - in a social setting.
For her protection, and for yours. No matter how honorable your intentions or hersthere may be other people who may try to turn any opportunity into a chance to "get" you. Whatever you do together, do it in public - go to the zoo, concerts, parks, etc. In your case 0. Sorry, looks like you have to wait till you're 23 and she's Yeah, I know it's not a real rule but it does have a certain intuitive appeal.
B On the other hand if you can keep it non-nude for a couple of years, then that's ok too ; posted by singingfish at AM on December 26, Chiming in, blackout, you are displaying unusual wisdom by leaving this opportunity on the table for a few years. There is really no upside to having this relationship at this point. Arizona society has issued its opinion on the issue, wrong or not.
Remarkable, rather 21 17 year old dating the truth. You
You can fight City Hall on this concept, and maybe win, but it still means a fight. Fights are costly and since the 'other guy' is much bigger, your chances are slim to none in prevailing.
Its wiser to avoid a fight. What's truly remarkable about Mr. Blackout, is that you are doing it in advance! This will come in handy over the next few decades. Congratulations on making a good choice and taking care of both of you.
The "dad is a cop" angle is delightful. Are you freaking serious?
Sep 25, First of all, if you are the 17 year old, please keep in mind that your actions as a minor can and most likely will impact your future, his future and your parents' future. A 17 year old is a minor. A 21 year old is an adult. In every state, there are laws that cover sex and sexual contact between minors and adults and what is considered illegal. 17 dating 21 year old? age you would date someone show 10 more 17 year old girl and 24 year old boy Girls 16 - 21, would you prefer an older guys (30s) to be honest about his age? a 15 year old girl+a 21 year old guy in love? GIRLS - Would you rather date a younger or older guy? 16 and 21 year old: is it . Apr 13, So if the parents have told her not to date a 21 year old, they find out, and get angry, they can then take a charge on you called Contributing to the Delinquency of a Minor because you (as an adult) have aided and encouraged the 17 year old to engage in conduct (dating you in obedience to her parents) that could result in her being adjudicated.
Wisdom in music yes, I know you plan to keep it non-physical : When true love knocked on my door, she'd just barely turned sixteen; And I was a little bit nervous, if you know just what I mean. But I heard somewhere that true love conquers all, and figured that was that, then I started havin' dreams 'bout bein' chased out of town wearin' nothing but my cowboy hat.
I said, "No deal We did not actually have sex, though it was very difficult. In the end, despite that she was very mature for fifteen, the age difference wound up being a problem.
That little voice saying it doesn't seem right? Listen to it. Not too many people seem to comprehend the idea that she might actually want to have sex with you. This is a distinct possibility that complicates things further. Shame about the law, but there it is.
Let's say someone is 13 and is dating a year-old. Is it wrong? There's a little trick to tell when the age difference in dating gets icky. All you have to do is take the older age, in this case, 17, and divide it by two and add 7. 17?2+7 is Dec 06, A year to a school aged person means a lot more than it does to a working adult. At 21, I remember I almost dated a 17 year old, but. in the end I didnt, simply because of the age difference. It was just too weird, and I couldn't feel good about myself. I sort of felt ashamed at the thought of dating him, like why couldnt I find someone my own. Jul 20, I Was 17 Dating a 27 Year Old?! | Story Time - Duration: Year-Old Dating Teen He's Never Met In Person Speaks Out About Relationship - Duration: thatliz.com: Tina Mukasa.
Walk away. He was probably 19 or This was a few years back, so I don't remember exact age. But, he got consent from the parents and started dating this chick. A month down the road, he pissed the girl off, which in turn pissed off the parents and they took it to the cops.
They warned him to stay away, but how could he? He already spent a month dating this chick like every day and he wanted to work things out. And you know she probably only stayed upset for like a day or two, while the parents never forgot. So while trying to work things out picking her up from school, taking her out more, etc he somehow ended up in prison for few years.
True story. I guess the moral of the story is that parents can change their mind about consent while you too are deeply in love. Run away right now.
Especially with this discussion here, now, in the public record. When I was 15 I briefly dated a guy about your age. There were upsides and downsides but ultimately it didn't work out.
I couldn't go to bars with him which was a pain. His friends' girlfriends were older and thought I was too young and weren't particilarly nice about it.
He wanted to have sex and I didn't want to. In my world this was normal and in his world it totally wasn't. When I stayed out late with him it was, again, normal for him and really not normal for me. In fact, my Mom flipped out once when I came home at 3 am and threatened to have him arrested for statutory.
That fight has created a rift between us to this day my Mom and I. In the end, we broke up because I didn't want to have sex with him.