I am a newly divorced single woman over We got married, we had kids, we grew apart. We have been divorced for 2 years and although it saddens me that my family has been broken apart, I am happy that my ex and I have have managed to be civil enough to make it okay for the kids. What I find most interesting at this point is the whole dating scene. There is such a difference between what is available for men and woman. Here is what I have found:. For single men the options are plentiful.
Be cautious men, these women are looking for you to do it all over again and that means house and children. They are raising small kids and are looking for someone to be a partner.
54 and dating
Yes they do want you to help raise their kids and do it all over again. If you have money, well that just makes you more attractive.
They know who they are and why their marriage failed and are looking for pure companionship. Rather they will be someone who will have realistic expectations of you and be accepting of who you are at this time of your life.
They will want to grow old with you and have an age appropriate relationship with you. From my experience there are few men who are looking to date their contemporaries. The thrill and excitement of a younger woman is so compelling. Those rare gems who value women with age and experience are just that - rare! So I will wait and not settle. Someone who will appreciate what my age and wisdom brings to the partnership. Feeling good about yourself is really the most important thing, because you are probably going to be alone if you find yourself alone at We can all be positive and optimisticbut psychologists suggest practicing alternative forms of sexuality and some openly advocate partner sharing.
Finding a non-sexual partner seems to be less of a problem, a lot of nice men suffer from erectile dis-function and might welcome an older partner.
The most important ties to make after 50 if you are alone, are meaningful friendships. These need to be nurtured because chances are there will not be a partner to usher you into old age, and community is probably the most important ct of successful aging.
Billy G is correct. I am 62 and i hooked up with an old man friend from the past who is 64 after a few get together s i was curious to see what this old stallion was about at this age AND what a shocker he had a major erectile dysfunction that is not only embarrassing for him but for me as well. So when women over 60 wonder why its hard to find a man THEY are at a bar drinking.
Most men are not interested in seeing a Doctor to get that fixed. I told my man friend to do that and he looked at me like i insulted him. Dude get that fixed if you want to have fun!!
Then you get the men who are in denial with their soft performing noodle. If a man over 60 is not going to perform with a good hard on dont bother!
SO the really good looking older men 50 and over with money will pay for Viagra to get a hard manhood and may seek younger women, I am attractive at 62, i like to dress colorful, i color my hair i never had kids and have been single most of my life and i love that independence.
I love my own company and I love to have fun. I still listen to Led Zeppelin and Steely Dan. I am a loner because most of my friends are acting like Grandmas now and i dont have anything in common with them so i have fun traveling alone and meeting people. I go to Vegas alone 4 times a year and have a blast!! Someday i might hook up with a man who is like me and we can grow older together but i dont wish it or look for it life is too short wasting on the next man LOL LOL.
Boy you described me. Een easy. And im pretty with long blonde hair. I did find a guy this year.
He knew I have a high sex drive. Said he wanted to be friends first and I bought it. Bottom line he is 58 and so broken Viagra won t work only surgery or a pump. He hide this and his tiny tiny tiny penis from me knowing all the while his secret and leading me on telling me about the great sex life we were going to have. I feel like goldilocks. Where is the happy medium lol. I live in Tigard Oregon. You made it very very clear that if a man cannot get hard then he should bother so if it does work then why would he not go for a much younger, sexier women!?!?
Lots of interesting responses. I am 58 years old and think that the reason many men seek younger woman is that the perception is that as woman get older they have less interest in sex. For us older men who still have a strong sex drive and good functioning equipment that can be frustrating. Woman need emotional connection to stay connected. Men need sexual attention to complete the connection. It sounds like several of the ladies on this site have had underperforming men. Just remember Not all older men have this problem.
At 58 I go to the gym three days a weekkayak, ski, bike,hike, eat healthy and take care of myself. I am not taking any medications. I am 58 and very horny all the time but not always does it get or stay hard after 40 ED will periodically happen and older you get the more often women have the great advantage in that dept as you do not have to be concerned that all will work your not being very fair.
Cancer, MS or other can happen to anyone incl. Finallyif can get hard, good looking, fitmoney any 58 man can get a 42 year old women why would they be interested in you and then being emasculated. Well I am 53 Male with no ED issues. I work out regularly and one question I get asked is my age. I do not post a lot of pictures of me but I do have an 8 pack, veins exposed everywhere and shredded. I would really like to meet someone again but my problem has nothing to do with sex or companionship but more so how I was left in the aftermath of my padt.
Got married at 22 had accumulated properties and businesses only to loose it all during a divorce in no less. Jumped into a LTR for 10 years and lost again. Now being so cautious and not having much to bring to the table keeps me out of the dating scene.
This is my perspective. I am now Been dating for 15 years since my divorce. I have had around 6 relationships since divorce. With the exception of one woman that was close to my She, all of them are younger then me by anywhere from 8 to 25 years. Arm candy and dependency. Had I had the chance to do it all again I would of followed a different path. As I write this I have a 25 year old model in my bed wondering how to get her out nicely.
As I get really old I wonder what I am doing. I feel almost embarrassed by my choices in life. I see you dying alone and sad. But hey, look on the bright side - an SD will probably kill you before old age does. I just truly believe that sex is what bonds two people together and differentiates between a friendship and a real marriage. Its just a fact that women over 50 are not that interested in sex, as a rule.
Honestly people, go to gym, workout. Lose that 90 lbs you think is is only 15lbs and you will see that people instantly go out with you. Its just how we animals are. Stop deluding yourself and complaing and do the hard work in life to make yourself attractive and happy person. If you lose your money these girls will disappear. As we age wisdom appears.
The world we live in is constantly advertising what makes people happy and successful. It took me a very long time to stop listening to what the outside world was saying that creates happiness and listen to my heart. While going through my divorce I did not date, instead I used this time to get to know me againmy likes and needs. I am truly happy where I am with my life and if I find someone they will just add to my happiness.
I feel this is a good post and it can serve as advice to many people out there going through rough situations. I picked some good facts from this post even though my situation is way opposite but there is something similar which is rediscovering ones self. Its important and has to happen.
Thats the main problem, we men get tired with the beauty and stuff that comes with younger ladies. There will be time all you will require is a real connection and ability to work on a certain matured level of thinking and so on.
Seriously I have never tried dating a younger person, never seen it as an option. I do a thatliz.com group and because of the type of thatliz.com I do it tends to attract younger adults than myself. From what I have found with the men in my group 40 and below is they really just want to have a conversation where there is no drama and judging. It is hard for men to be themselves I think because a few women in their past who must have raked them over the coals for something they did or said.
I have been in situations where I could see the line blurring but that is where it stopped.
The dilemma I am facing is I have met a nice gentleman who is 10 years my senior. He is retired, I am not. I have at least another 10 years to work which would put me at 67 before I retire. I have always pictured myself after retirement travelling around the country with my trailer for a month or two at a time. That would put this nice man at aged I really do not want to spend my retirement possibly nursing someone or leaving them behind because they cannot keep up.
I think he wants more than just friends from our relationship. On another note I was reading another site that was telling its readers the ideal age difference for when dating.
It went like this: Take your age, divide by 2 then add seven. So I did this and came up with 35 years old would be the ideal age of my date. I am 57 years old. I then realized I was reading an article geared towards men.
Are you freaking kidding me I thought. So that would mean I as a female should be dating someone that is years old according to this article. I hope you have reconsidered women closer to your age. Fucking a 25 year old is just fucking. Sorry that happened to you.
There were so many people i know who ended up getting divorces at your age because of cheating. Mostly the male partner cheated but in some cases it was the woman.
I feel like when we reach 50, it is a time for change kind of a shake up time. Time to get rid of friends who do no help us in life. Maybe changing things about ourselves or changing our profession.
Some people use this time of upheaval to get better like eating better or getting rid of what is not serving us. Now the other half decide to have a mid life crisis. They try to cling to their youth or they fill like they have missed out on something or they think that their spouse no longer is what they want. As weird as it sounds, try not to take what your husband did personal. Of course, it is personal but when he did that he was only thinking of himself.
It had nothing to do with how pretty you are or how valuable you are but he went his base urges. Not a younger woman but in his mind a woman of more status. When she confronted him on the cheating he threw it back on her like you are fat etc. She was 52 at the time.
She ended leaving him and really had no shortage of men who came her way. Right after she left him she ended up having a short fling with a 32 year old which started out as a hook up kind of thing but he ended up sort of learning some grown up skills from her. She was really embarrassed about the relationship because of the age difference but I told her know ones cares. It is remarkably common. Most likely you will need a bit of therapy to get over the betrayal and a good divorce support group might help.
You might look at a site called thatliz.com. It is not a singles site but an interest thatliz.com site. Everything from knitting to dancing thatliz.coms.
I joke that you could probably find a thatliz.com on there for tearing paper because there are so many types of thatliz.coms and you can even start your own. No, physical impossibility. All you old crows made your choices. Jim You are a nasty person who no woman worth anything would want. Old men who date young girls delude themselves into thinking the girls really want them.
They think they look way better than they actually look almost alwayswhen in fact they are not attractive sometimes balding, potbellied, and wrinkly. What the want is a daddy figure or money, or maybe a short fling with someone until they find a younger man.
Oh, Taxmeless, help this girl to get her own act together.!!! No one is to support, no one is to guide, or even to listen. Dave You know I guess I have a different attitude than a lot of older men. We probably all need to feel loved a appreciated by someone whether it is someone our age or someone younger or even older. I can be attracted to someone younger than me or someone close to my age or older if the chemistry is right but I want it to be real not just about sex.
I know when I was young the driving factor was someone that appealed to me but might not have been serious about a relationship but I passed through that period and wanted a serious meaningful union.
I remember while on a business trip I had a encounter with an attractive woman who wanted to be more than friends. I had two children so we attempted to get beyond this but she ended up leaving after 27 yeas of marriage.
I really want to have a loving connection with the person I am involved with. I might be able to have that connection with a much younger person but I know that is not practical.
I think a connection with someone a little younger, my age or even older is more realistic. I still see my ex at family functions and she has remarried. Maybe she found what she had was a lot better than she realized. Any way this is my opinion a sexual connection with a woman. I am 54 yrs woman, many friends around my age divorce they seen look good and happy with their single life.
Please when you are getting old in realistic actually women happy and willing to divorce.
Please be realistic if you really have someone woman at 50s 60s love you care of you. Guys you are just Lucky. Well let me say one thing eye candy can be your age. And this may come as a shock but you do have many beautiful women yr age who could make yr heart skip a beat.
So good luck and remember we do exist. Beauty is from the inside and shines on the outside. Men still want til very old age so why they try to go as young as possible.
Sex is all in the mind. At almost 52 I am still interested in sex and I believe it is necessary to create the bond in a meaningful relationship, which is what I am looking for. I am not looking for just a male friend. We are all here to learn and figure out life. Be happy that you are now figuring things out.
Advise 54 and dating Such casual
There always looking for younger woman. I know what you mean. At 51 I dated a 21 year old for about a year and it was so embarrassing when she held my arm walking down the street. She came after me.
You still feel funny and very uncomfortable. Before her my last girlfriend was 18 years younger than me. And I was pursued there again.
Given my situation, i found it hard to meet women my own age because I have lived a very hard and unconventional life due to my addiction. I feel like I screwed up my life with drugs and in reality I did. I missed all the good things in life like having a wife,children, a career to be proud of. My only hope is to live the rest of my life doing the best I can. Who takes care of herself and is still not jaded by life. She could have trust issues. The trick is to be aware of your stuff and not let it get in the way.
I know this is long. Guess i had a lot to say here. And these men are athletic, fit, attractive and successful. Sure, they can date younger women, but many chose to date those closer to their age. Relatable is their reason. I feel generalization is never accurate. Hi I am Walter 50 single male looking for a nice long term relationship I like cooking walking reading music I am loving caring kind romantic.
I did not date through separation, the divorce process or after divorce. Greg Stewart, Concord, Ca. Hi Greg. Kudos to you for even attempting to date women closer to your age. I am 50 and prefer women my age. Where are they? They are not responding to my personal ads, they are not in the meet up groups or volunteer groups, and they are not in the bars. Can I assume no one wants me? I think it is more that your path has not crossed yet with that woman who is perfect for you.
The timing of these things is not always our timing. Just keep on keeping on, have faith, and continue to pursue activities that have meaning for you. You will meet someone when you least expect it. Because we r sitting here reading posts that say we may as well accept the fact that we are going to be alone the rest of our lives. I have so much MORE to offer at 53 thatn i did at I left a totally dysunctional relationship i tried to keep going for 8 yrs. And he is clean to boot.
Signed up on eharmony. I swore in my 30si will never be one of those sad 50somethings looking for a guy. And i feel foolish doing it! My sisters husband of 23yrs dumped her for someone 3 yrs older than their daughter. That was 15 yrs ago and she never found anyone after that. So to answer your question. My dad is a very supportive and loving father and he is my best friend. Everyone deserve a chance to show who they are and be appreciated despite their age. Celine dion and her husband had a beautiful marriage despite their age difference,marriage is about people and how much they are willing to commit to each other not about age.
There are a lot of lovely ladies of different age group out there,spread your wings,get to know people. You may never know where you might end up finding ur happiness. As for me and my partner we are going to have children together within the next two years,he is a great father to his children so I have no doubt he will be a good father and he is going to make an incredible,extraordinary,super excellent husband.
I am done-zo with competition and way overdue to be the icing. My advice? Let them take up knitting or something. And sometimes the women are worst then the men. Most of them have been cheated on or lied to. I agree, Greg I do think its awesome you do want someone close to your age.
Wasted Youth: Bryan Cranston on Studio 54 and Dating Models - The Dan Patrick Show - 1/11/19
I am a 51 divorcee and just beginning to think about dating. Your gal is out there so keep looking! I am a responsible Man. I am a fun loving man, jovial, lovely and passionate. I think of myself as being clever but harmless.
I am supporting, caring and have a loyal and tolerant character, humble, honest, understanding and truthful. I have had plenty from 23 to 39, really?
I still think at my age I have a lot of love to give. Where am I going wrong? I call us men that date their agethe real men. The best is to make do of whats available at hand. Its more fun with someone close your age, because communication and understanding will be easier. I wish this meme would die.
Greg, Your story could have been mine, except I am female, and I have been divorced 15 years. The stories have replayed over the years, and I have come to question if I am ever to find a partner to grow old with, as it seems that I am already doing that! But for a marriage that ended in tears, it had many good years that unfortunately could not be salvaged. I still believe in marriage and believe that men and women are meant to live in harmonious relationships.
Best of luck to you on finding someone with whom to share your life! My name is Crystal I have very important issue to discuss with you. Write me back if you are interested,Thanks. I seem to attract the kind of guy that likes my free-spiritedness yet are often the types to start clipping my wings as soon as my attention is elsewhere.
I never ever thought ageism would be an issue, I thought it was an imagined thing.
I still believe, however, in my weird optimism that out there is someone for mesomeone at a similar age who can appreciate me and whom I can appreciate. Thanks Linda for this article. Brilliant and I can relate so much to you. Women when they get older start to lose what men are attracted to. If men are not physically attracted to you then they will not pursue you.
Women are also attracted to looks. Young Women are not designed to be attracted to infertile old men. I agree, RP. I have been online dating in my own age group. Most women my age are not sexually attractive, youth, excitability and plump skin is sexy. However those few women that have got it are naturally very selective and sought after. I am not looking for a physical relationship with 50 somethings yes I get wood though the ladies would like physical sex.
Welli am a married man of 54 years looking for 60 and 70 year old pretty women thst want a nice sexy relationship. Brig you might try dating a few men who are just a bit younger since you say you look younger.
Idea and 54 and dating share your opinion
I not talking really young but maybe mid to late 40s or early 50s. My dad was that way. I am always amazed that people do not understand. Men your age use myself as an example are still very horny women my age post menopause are no longer interested in a sexual loving relationship - they are done with sex.
Women are done at men around so it make sense for a man to go for a yr younger women. No thanks. Your are an idiot for generalizing. So get over yourself. Turn it around and interview them. Your the man it is your job to interview not the irrational women. Good grammar will take you far. Even with the young gals. Trust me.
Remarkable, 54 and dating exact answer You
You actually know of a rational woman! The ignorance and arrogance within some people causes them to stereotype others.
Best to avoid them. It may well be that friendship first is a good rule, not having expectations for effort and not being used for validation allows you to set your value.
It is you that matters and how you behave that gives you pride in yourself - what missing part of you will be completed by dating or a relationship maybe address that first. Too bad you and I live on opposite coasts! The problem with men is they look for beauty on the outside. Maybe if more men would look there non of us would be alone in our 50s. Double bingo!! And even if you find someone that wants to date youafter one date they already start implying sexual stuff.
That takes time. I will need to develop feelings for you. Is that too much to ask for? To have feelings before you get all touchy feely with me? Many women have wonderful personalities and beautiful hearts. Some just look at pictures and move on, they never read my profile. So it happensto both men and women who would give per cent each. I wished a lady would take time to read about me markww2 on pof in Houston. You go guuuurl!
Ever heard of a spellcheck!? I get feeling you will be alone for a very long time. Hi sarah!
Agree 54 and dating seems me, you
How are you? So both men and women are superficial. Signed up to a dating site- guy kept asking tell me about yourself. I did.
Mar 03, According to this Huffington Post article on dating after 50, the ratio of men to women shifts considerably as the years go by: At ages , there are equal numbers of single men and single women. At ages , there are close to single women to every single man. By ages , the ratio is 4 single women to 1 single man. May 02, In other words, while the rule states that year-old women can feel comfortable dating year-old men, this does not reflect the social preferences and standards of women. Women in . One pleasant surprise about dating after 50 is less groveling for sex. After a few dates, most older women feel fine about going horizontal, and don't care if your erections are iffy or gone. However, they don't want sexually transmitted infections (STIs). So use condoms until you're monogamous. 8. Dating isn't mating. Just as gold miners move Author: Michael Castleman.
Divorced twice. I picked men that were wrong for me. My fault but as soon as I shared poof! Men are gone. I am fit,attractive, employed,debt free, own my home, and am making it despite no child support. I have 2 great teens that will soon be gone. I am a stable person that was desperate for a family and married for that. No one will touch me. I figure if God wants me in a relationship he will plant a man in front of me. I just wish my life had turned out differently.
In my experience, when middle age women say that they are fit and attractive, they look for the same in men. We are talking about people over 50, whose bodies are way different than they were 20 years ago. When women say that they are fit and attractive but they are not looking for the same in men, they still send the same message. There is nothing wrong with looking for the best fit and attractive guys but with age the odds are getting drastically smaller for you.
In this age group, I see way more overweight women than men and this is very unattractive. Most or maybe all who chat me up look like guys, seriously. Young women tend to be much slimmer, sex with them is on a totally different level. Plus they like or at least are not afraid of showing their bodies. After that comes personality, but this is another subject.
Really guy? Please refrain from your arrogance about looks. Get over yourself. Check yourself before you wreck yourself Seymour Heiny. Did you give your self that name because you are sugar-coating what you see when you look in the mirror?
Have you ever heard of grammer check? Or maybe you should consider going back to adult school for a high school diploma. It is hard to even consider you as an adult! Christian servant. Not out there. Why is it hard to connect to good souls? Looking for someone who wants to just start out slowly. Looking to meet someone who would appreciate starting out slowly. If interested, please reply. Use the classic dating strategies : introductions through friends, blind dates, meeting through activities work, recreation, religious, etc.
Aug 05, Dating after 40 or 50 means taking control of your love life, just like you do the rest of your life. It means being kind to yourself and the men you meet. It means making good thatliz.com: Bobbi Palmer. Jul 31, I feel you. I turned 54 this week and can't believe the choices out there. The dating process has been hard but at least you learn a lot about yourself and what your top 4 priorities are. And don't sell yourself short as women often do. For example I need to date a humble, kind, a mountaineer who can ski BC and peak climb, and skate skiing is a plus. Im 54 and I am on a couple of dating sites. I post just my profile picture, username, age and city and that is it! I get 25 to 30 messages a day from different woman and an average of 45 - 50 that have viewed my profile. So I have to agree with Dave. January 4th, Reply.
Tell everyone you know that you're interested in dating. Ask to be fixed up. Get involved in activities you enjoy. Through them, you'll probably meet women who also enjoy them, women who might become friends - and eventually, maybe more. The numbers are on your side. It's not "two girls for every boy," like the Beach Boys sang, but demographics trend that way.
First, the bad news: Men die younger than women. The good news: As the decades pass, women increasingly outnumber men, which subtly works in your favor. For every 1, births, by age 50, women outnumber men toaccording to a U. At 65, it's to So the odds are in men's favor - and women know it. That's one reason why Betty and Veronica no longer sit by the phone waiting for Archie to call.
If a woman is interested in youshe'll probably initiate contact. Google yourself. Women will, so you better know what they'll find. Try to correct misinformation, or at least be prepared to prove that you're not the escaped serial killer who shares your name.
And while you're at it, make sure your Facebook page won't raise eyebrows. Dating sites have advantages. One is that you cast a wide net. Tip: Upload smiling photos. Photos increase men's response rate 40 percent - for women, photos triple it! Another is that profiles provide good icebreakers.
Beyond saying, "You're really cute and you live near me," you can add that like the woman you're contacting, you also play tennis and enjoy jazz.
Dating sites have disadvantages. Some of the members are flakier than piecrust. They seem interested, but after a few e-mails, they disappear. Or their phones are disconnected. Or they stand you up. Who knows? So if you are 60 now, the ratios suggest that it might be difficult to find a good single man your age.
You need to start now to find someone special, or perhaps consider dating younger men. You also need to be prepared to think differently about what older men want from a dating relationship. Many women have been hurt or disappointed by relationships in their lives and are a little afraid to actively participate in looking for love. However, if you really want to find someone special, you have to make an effort - you really have to want to find a quality relationship!
Lisa reinforces that dating is a numbers game. You really cannot give up after just a few dates, that you have to relax, meet lots of guys and enjoy the process. It is meant to be fun! The stakes of dating are not as high at this part of our life.
Many of us are looking for a companion or a friend or even a no-strings-attached lover. Fortunately, in some ways, there has never been a better time for women over 60 to be in the dating world. It might help to know what men say they are looking for in a woman.
Both dating coaches I have interviewed agree with this assessment. As we get older, the things we want out of life often change, and we have less time to play games and be superficial - this is a good thing! But it still helps to know about the emotional languages and occasional disconnects that come up between older men and women.